I was raised on Coca-Cola. Straight or on the rocks. Peanuts or sans peanuts. It was THE drink. Why would you want water when you could have a refreshing Coke that fizzed up your nose and made you say “ahhhhhh” with satisfaction? I can still remember putting fifteen cents in the machine, opening the door to a rush of cool air, and hearing the clinking sound of the glass bottle as it left the slot. Then, of course, the pop of the metal cap on the built-in bottle-opener. It was the South, it was hot, and Coke was heaven. I have to say, unashamed, that I miss those sounds, even though I haven’t been a Coke drinker in over a decade.

I quit a long time ago, first to go to Diet Coke, because like all young women, I was dieting. In the bars, I’d have my bourbon with Diet Coke, because as my friend Anne used to say, bourbon and Diet Coke is a Southern woman’s best friend: it has Coke, bourbon, and almost none of those nasty calories! Anyway, I later quit all coke (in my area of the country the generic name for all soft drinks was “coke” just like it’s “pop” in some areas) because it was supposed to be bad for me in various ways.

I still hated water. I found it boring. Only in the last year did I take my water needs seriously. I drink about 80 ounces a day. I carry around a big plastic bottle with me and make sure to drink it all, plus more. While I used to get the water out of the tap, I started filtering with a Britta tank once my doctor told me I was registering high levels of clorine. I like water now, but I spend a lot of time preparing it and making sure I get it. I’m proud of how far I’ve come on the water thing . . . or I was, anyway.

At my studio, we offer a bottle of water to each client after the massage, with a choice of cold or room temperature. In this case, it’s part of the corporate plan, but still a great thing, right? Water, not Coke or sugary sports drinks. Well, no, apparently not. We’ve had several clients decline, one very angrily, on the grounds that all these water bottles are going into landfills and destroying the environment. The angry client declared she was going to write a letter to my boss and complain (That’s good manners, lady. I give you a nice massage, and you bite my head off about something I have absolutely no control over and which has nothing to do with the bodywork and which was MEANT to be a pleasant service to you.)

Let me add at this point that sometimes I just want to put my head down and cry. There is never enough money or time, my feet and shoulder hurt, I need health insurance and care, I’m depressed about everything from the price of fresh vegetables to oil spilling into the Gulf . . . and then I manage to get a handle on one thing (water) which is now all wrong because of the packaging. GOOD GRIEF! I find it ironic that the path between Scylla and Charybdis (the real names for the devil and the deep blue sea) was a watery one.

Sigh. Okay. So no plastic bottles. I reuse my own plastic one, but it drives my boyfriend crazy as he’s certain it’s breeding bacteria in addition to everything else. I guess I could get a metal one and try to remember to fill it three times a day, as I doubt I’ll find one as big as my plastic one. As to the studio, we’re letting corporate know that here in Seattle at least, offering plastic bottles of water is not always popular or appreciated. Our only thought is to go to paper cups, as we obviously can’t send clients home with ceramic mugs. Of course, paper kills trees. I think perhaps a large oak bucket with a dipper outside the door might be an option, but I doubt most people would find that sanitary. It’s too bad, though. Cold water out of a metal dipper tastes as good as Coke out of glass bottle on a hot day. And if you can’t please everyone anyway . . .

This is generally the worst time of year for manipulative ads on weight loss. Whether it’s pills, diets, or gym memberships, you can count on TV strangers in spandex or bikinis telling you that THIS year you absolutely HAVE to have their products in order to make your New Year’s resolution come true. Well, guess what air-brushed spandex/bikini people? I never played with Barbie dolls, and New Year’s resolutions for weight loss almost never come true . . . plus, they bore me spitless.

It might be different if all this weight-loss frenzy were truly based on health concerns, but often it’s just based on vanity and cultural anxiety. And I’ve seen the damage such frenzy does both in my own early life and in the lives of the people, particularly the women, who end up on my massage table. Makes me wonder . . . unless a person is so morbidly obsese his life or quality of life is in danger, is losing weight something all that important to resolve do?

Consider this little story: When I was in massage school, I continued to teach English to make ends meet. I had a Japanese student who was an advanced speaker of English, so I tended to work with her using articles and essays to improve her spoken English. One day, I found a news article written about how thoughts on women’s weight differs from culture to culture. The geographical focus of this article was the African country of Niger, a place I was somewhat familiar with, having worked on girls’ education projects there when I was in non-profit. And in Niger, girls really, really, really want to be . . . FAT. Yes, they WANT to be as fat as they can possibly get. Regular little “butterballs” as my father used say.

A story like this can really turn your world upside down if you were raised to set goals for seeing your own skeleton in the mirror. My Japanese student and I were surprised and amused to read about a gathering of teenage girls in a beauty shop, where the most popular girl in town was also the fattest. This girl said things like, “That girl over there is pretty, but she can never gain weight.” Other girls whispered that they wished they could be as fat as the head girl so that they could be popular and make the best marriages. One average-sized girl said she was happy the way she was, but she might try to put on at least 10 to 15 pounds, just to look good and be healthy. The author noted that the richer the man in Niger, the more huge women he gathered around him, as weight is a sign of health and weatlh. Anyone seeing a reverse pattern here?

And then, there was a darker side to the story. Women weren’t just eating more food to get fat, because in many cases, food was limited. Instead, they were taking animal steroids–an extremely dangerous practice–in order to beef up. Animal steroids are banned for human use, of course, but the black market trade in Niger still does a brisk business, especially before holidays and special occasions. You can’t have the family thinking you’re a weakling or that your husband’s a bad provider, after all! One doctor who treats such women stated something to the effect of, “The world is crazy. In American women have everything, and try to look like they have nothing. Here, women have nothing and want to look like they have everything.”

In considering such a story, losing 20-30 pounds as a New Year’s resolution doesn’t seem so important. Personally, I’d rather resolve to donate monthly to a charity I like called Operation Smile for kids born around the world with cleft palate. Or make sure all of my recyclables actually make it into the recycling bin, not the trash.

After an absurdly long stretch of gray, ugly rain, it seems that Seattle has finally decided that it will indeed join the rest of the civilized world in hosting Summer 2009. THE SUN IS OUT! Finally! It makes a Southern girl like me just want to sit on a porch swing and drink sunlight and sweet tea. And I do mean SIT. Not run, jog, or cycle. Okay, walking might be all right, but nothing faster than a brisk amble. Anything faster than that, and I’d miss the scenery, like all these gorgeous orange poppies blooming near my Northgate apartment. Anything faster, and one could be in serious danger of spilling one’s sweet tea, and that’s just wrong . . . unless the sweet tea is that nasty fake stuff from McDonald’s (which is no doubt making several past generations of Southern mothers and grandmothers spin in their graves).

Exercise doesn’t have to be intense to be effective. I’ve noticed that Seattleites almost seem to think that they must pay for the blessing of good weather by attempting to kill themselves reenacting Nike commercials while it’s here. Is it wrong to enjoy sitting on a sunny porch or taking a sunny walk, and right to enjoy sweating off half of one’s body weight climbing a sunny mountain? Well, no. Still, I’ve noticed that many of my out-of-shape clients, or those whose bodies have suffered injuries over the years, feel very guilty about not being able to get out and become Lance Armstrong on a bike or one of the Williams sisters on a tennis court. And what happens sometimes is that they injure or re-injure themselves trying to “exercise and be healthy.”

In response to this tragic phenomenon, I try to suggest to my clients forms of exercise that are gentler, kinder, and in my opinion, infinitely more fun and more easily accomplished with a tea glass nearby. Take swimming, for example. I have suggested it to a LOT of clients who have seen a LOT of benefits. You don’t have the impact issues you have with many activities, and you work about three times as hard doing it as you think you are due to the resistance factor. Furthermore, you don’t have to know special strokes or even do laps. I have clients who take Styrofoam boards like little kids and kick up and down the pool and who are now enjoying greater range of motion and have less pain than they’ve had in years. This is a very good thing, people! Seattle is blessed with a number of public pools, many of them indoors and most of them easily accessible. Swimming is beneficial and fun, so remember to go splash around this summer and encourage your clients to do the same—sweet tea optional

Oh almonds, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways…

As a massage therapist, I often need to find something quick and easy to munch on between clients. Sometimes there’s no time to heat up soup, or even fix a quick sandwich. Instead of grabbing some chips, or even a “healthy” nutrition bar, I try to have some raw almonds on hand (preferably organic).

I always knew almonds were good guys, but I’d forgotten some of the benefits until recently. Several studies have shown that almonds have the potential to:

• Reduce the risk of Alzheimer’s disease
• Help with age-related short-term memory
• Lower “bad” cholesterol and raise “good” cholesterol
• Protect against Type 2 diabetes
• Reduce the risk of heart disease and sudden heart attacks
• Reduce the glycemic index of meals

Almond Mini-FAQ

• Almond flour’s gluten-free and can be used in place of wheat flour in a lot of recipes (you can’t use it for regular breads because it can’t be kneaded, but it’s fantastic for quick breads and muffins). Great for low-carbers and those with wheat sensitivities. Tip: When you use almonds for baking, add some extra eggs to make everything stick together.
• In a controlled study, 73 grams (just 2.5 ounces) of almonds daily reduced LDL cholesterol (that’s the bad kind) by up to 9.4%. It also increased HDLs (the good kind of cholesterol) by 4.6% and reduced the LDL:HDL ratio by 12%. The LDL:HDL ratio is considered more important than the total cholesterol count.
• An ounce of almonds contains 6 grams of protein, 210 milligrams of potassium, and 3 grams of fiber. They’re also high in manganese, magnesium, riboflavin and vitamin E, B2, and copper. At less than 170 calories an ounce, almonds are one of the most nutritionally-dense foods.
• In Ayurveda, almonds are thought to benefit the brain and nervous system.
• Do you stay away from almonds because of the fat content? Well, 90% of the fat in almonds is monounsaturated and polyunsaturated. Monounsaturated fat is the same good stuff that’s in olive oil.
• Get it out of your head that nuts will make you gain weight! A Spanish study followed 8,865 adults over 28 months. Those who ate nuts at least twice a week were 31% less likely to gain weight than those who never or almost never ate nuts.
• Are you doing the low carb thing? An ounce of almonds contains 2.3 grams of net carbs (that’s what you get after subtracting the fiber grams from the total carb count), and they’re considered a healthy low carb snack.
• Oh, and almonds aren’t actually nuts – they’re drupes. Nope, I’d never heard of drupes either. From Wikipedia: They’re fruits “in which an outer fleshy part (exocarp, or skin; and mesocarp, or flesh) surrounds a shell (the pit or stone) of hardened endocarp with a seed inside.” Some other drupes are coffee beans, mangos, pistachios, apricots, nectarines, peaches, cherries and plums. Aren’t you glad you know that?

Don’t Forget the Pine Nuts
Pine nuts are good too. Yum! But expensive, so they’re a rare treat. I’ve always considered pine nuts kind of a guilty pleasure, and I was surprised to find that they’re almost in the same class as almonds when it comes to packing a nutritional punch.

So skip the chips and go nuts!