Once upon a time, there was a quiet little massage room which had the most interesting people pop in for treatments, people who said the darndest things…
Therapist: What is our goal today?
Client: I’d like to have the right side of my body removed.
Therapist: That would make you a leftist. Sure you want to do that in Reagan country?
Therapist: You seem a little tense.
Client: I’ve had a tough week at work.
Therapist: It is Tuesday…
Client: Thanks for coming over to my house. I have some dinner if you haven’t eaten yet.
Therapist: I have to warn you. If you feed me I come back…
Client: Do you believe in colonic irrigation for migraines?
Therapist: I think that depends on where your head is…
Client: What about coffee enemas?
Therapist: Depends, too, on whether they are iced or hot…
Therapist: Any idea why your neck hurts at work?
Client: Yes. She is in the office across from me and is not going anywhere soon.
Therapist: Have you tried any other treatments for your back pain?
Client: None that worked. That’s why I’m here.
Client: Whom do you go to for massages?
Therapist: I have very patient, somewhat deaf therapist friends whom I try not to wear out. And sometimes I play Russian Roulette by going undercover at a local spa or clinic.
Client: Has anyone ever told you that you are funny?
Therapist: Yes, and funny-looking, too!
